Monthly Archives: November 2010

Bunyip Shennanigans and Shining Emeralds Go Moby

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ABORIGINAL MYTHS. - THE BUNYIP (caption) - pho...

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We continued south, into the baking heat, with no life visible anywhere.  But then we saw another figure in the distance that looked to be moving.  It grew larger as we approached, and in the end we could make it out as a bunyip.

The Bunyip Asks Us to Call a Ball

We stopped at its feet and I asked what a fine example of a bunyip was doing so far away from the nice wet swamps in the arid Australian outback.

It looked at us with mischievous eyes, and ignored my question.

Instead, it invited us to play a game.  It rolled three different coloured balls onto a fold-out table: one was green, one red and another pink. 

It said that if we chose one colour each we’d get a different prize each: the prizes were green dye; a family home and a new body.

Discussion and Deliberation Leads to Decision

The three of us looked at each other, and then got in a huddle.

We said it looked an inviting offer, and I said I’d really like some green dye, to make myself look greenygrey again.

Bonzo said he’d like a ready made family home; somewhere to provide security for him for when he settles down.

Elle said she’d like a new body, as she’d lost all confidence in herself as a person.

So we thought we’d go for it, and decided that the green ball would be the dye, the red the house and the pink the body.

Bunyip Shennanigans Leads to Return of MiMo Moby

So we chose our three balls, but then the bunyip revealed that each prize was the opposite to what we wanted.

I’d won a house, but didn’t need one as I wanted to return back to blighty; Bonzo had won a new body but it was happy to be a scottie, and Elle had won a family house when she didn’t want to live in the desert.

So we started to swap, but then the bunyip intervened, saying there was a forfeit for exchanging the prizes.

The cost for three swaps was a hat. 

We only had the emerald cork hat, which was said to have magic powers, but we hadn’t seen any yet.

So I took the hat off and said shine now you crazy emerald, or forever hold your peace. 

And with that MiMo Moby appeared in the air above us.  He said that was no bunyip, it was the Monotonous Monotheist of the East, and the prizes were things it thought we could not resist.

With that, the bunyip suddenly turned into the MoMo we’d seen at Meekatharra, and let out a blood curdling chant.

Finding Elle on the Highway to Hell

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Photo of Elle Macpherson in Aspen, CO

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We left civilisation behind and headed into the outback.  There was nothing but big wide open space ahead, and red dust kicked up by us was our only company.  We were a red colour ourselves after a little while, and it was as if we had entered a desert hell.

We meet Elle on the Edge of Hell

As we progressed down the highway it was hard to believe that this was the correct way to our destiny, and we, Bonzo and me, began to look at each as if we’d taken a wrong turn.

Then a hunched cloaked figure came into view ahead.  We stopped when we arrived in its proximity, and asked it if everything was alright.

It replied in a quaking scared female voice, saying we should go and leave her; she wasn’t worth bothering about.

Bonzo and I looked at each other, wondering what we could do, and then had a little discussion about it. 

We quickly deciding that we couldn’t leave her all alone out in this harsh hellish desert, so we invited her along.

‘Ell of a Job Persuading Elle away from Hellishness

She refused at first, but we said we weren’t going to leave without her. 

After a few more minutes she said she would join us just so we could escape this place, and continue on our epic journey, but she insisted that we would regret it, and that she would only slow us down and be an eyesore hindrance.

A Day of Goodbyes Before Heading on the Highway to Hell

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The Big Boxing Crocodile, Humpty Doo, NT.

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Humpty Doo and the Quackaroo recommended we visit Jabiru, in the centre of Kakadu, so we travelled over there with the two, before saying ‘It was nice to meet you, and see you’.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Katherine and Manbulloo Review if Nitmiluk Too Good to be True

We travelled down through Kakadu, and called in at Nitmiluk. 

After a couple of beers in the One More Before I Croak, which had a hop going on, we saw a poster advertising a crocodile fight at the No Handbags bar.

Water fight it was, with Freshwater Frank beating Saltwater Stan in what could never be described as a toothless tussle.

We called in at the cheap sheep shop afterwards.

A koala called Katherine and a man bull of a bear called Baloo that lived nearby were getting BOGOL jumpers done.  

They thought the deal was too good to be true, but they were reassured after we showed them ours and said we’d had some luck in meeting Darwin and Humpty Doo in Kakadu.

Bon Hears he’s on the Highway to Hell

They said we might need luck if we were heading south, as they’d heard it had become quite hellish out in the outback, but they didn’t know why.

Bonzo seemed to get nervous when he heard that, and later told me a chill went down his spine.  Hearing that made what he did next make sense, because he went and bought another two BOGOL jumpers. 

I asked why, and he said It Ain’t No Fun Waiting Around to be a Millionaire in a Dog Eat Dog world, and they might come in handy on the Highway to Hell.  He pulled his second BOGOL jumper right up to his head, and I think I heard him whisper I’m Up to my Neck in You.  I thought I was back in an AC/DC back catalogue!

We said our goodbyes, smiled at each other, and headed out into the unknown unknowns of the outback.

Humpty Doo and the Quackado in Kakadu

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We departed Nitmiluk in the morning, wrapped up in our BOGOL jumpers, and with Bonzo feeling very lucky.  It was a leisurely morning jaunt north to the Kakadu National Park, with the long straight desert road stretching out to the wide blue yonder.

Humpty Doo and the Quack a Darwin Do in Kakadu

Bonzo and I freshened up where the Wildman and Alligator rivers met, as we didn’t fancy meeting either on their own, and thought they’d be too pre-occupied to take any notice of us at their waterfall.

We were just emerging from the water when an extraordinary looking creature arrived on the beach.  It reminded me of Green and my ol’ hero Scooby Doo, but it seemed to have a human body. 

It was accompanied by a duck that couldn’t seem to stop whistling.

The duck approached us and whistled: ‘Hello, I am Darwin, a local whistler duck doctor, and this is my friend, the Humpty Doo, who also lives nearby.  We have just ventured east to Kakadu to look for new species to study.’

I said that I’d never seen such a creature as the Humpty Doo myself, and asked from where it had evolved.

Darwin whistled that he was not entirely sure, as it was ongoing research, but his theory on the origin of species was that it was descended from man in the English civil war and dog from Hollywood cartoon.

I said do you really think so, and he said: ‘I do.’

BOGOL in the Northern Territory

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Knitted chick, hand made in Portugal.

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We crossed into the Northern Territory and made good progress along the outback.  At Timber Creek we met a timber wolf called TW that was backpacking its way across the world, having set out from Canada three years previously.  It was also drawing attention to the scandalous digging for tar sands that is destroying the Canadian wilderness, and tarnishing the Earth.

Knit Me Luck in Nitmiluk

We raced alongside the road trains in the early afternoon, and reached Nitmiluk for tea.

Our arrival seemed to coincide with a rising level of noise emitting from a tavern in the middle of town called One More Before I Croak, so we thought we’d go there for a drink or two.

Five green tree frogs were up on stage croaking up the ante by belting out classic brawk n’ roll tunes under the moniker Kermy’s Kermits

It started to get surprisingly chilly in the evening, so we went out to look for some extra clothing. 

It didn’t take long to find a cheap sheep shop that had a buy one knitted jumper and get one knitted for luck offer. 

It sounded like an interesting variation on the BOGOF theme; more BOGOL; and ideal for me and Bonzo to get one each. 

So we did indeed partake in the offer, and Bonzo got a jumper knitted for luck by a delightful sheep called Siddharta.