Monthly Archives: September 2010

Orlovs of Oz Mouth Meerkat Monotheistic Madness


The storm seemed to be catching up with us, so I shape-shifted into an elephant and with Bonzo hanging on by grasping my lugs flew high over the Kalbarri National Park, which was so beautiful that I regretted not passing through on foot.  The flight gave us a good panoramic view though. 

Dramatic Descent onto Monotonous Monotheist in Meekatharra 

I could see Meekatharra below, but could see no meerkats, and wondered why not, as Barry the Bottle-Nose Dolphin had said there’d be a big community to welcome me there.  All I could see was a single human, who seemed to be ranting. 

The Earth

Image by via Flickr

I tried to brake, but a sudden gush of wind span me out of control, and I descended trunk up, right onto the ranting human. 

The Meerkats Emerge from Hiding 

I felt awful, and Bonzo was distraught.  But then some meerkats emerged from hiding and seemed to start celebrating.  They sang: ‘ding-dong, the monotheist has gone upstairs’. 

A group of Meerkats at Auckland Zoo, New Zealand.

Image via Wikipedia


I was taken aback, and asked what they were so happy about, and a couple emerged as their spokespeople.  Bruce and Shiela Orlov said their family had emigrated from Russia many generations ago, and had set up an idyllic meerkat community amongst the wonderful nature in the area. 

The Monotheistic History 

But then a monotheistic missionary had arrived, and its monotonous mouthings seemed to hypnotise them.  Things also seemed to be improving for a while. 

But before they knew it they had chopped down all the trees to build temples, and polluted the rivers with the Earth‘s debris after mining its riches for decorations the monotheist said were needed to impress and placate its god. 

Then they found out that the monotheist was really trading all their riches, and was growing ever wealthier.  But by then it was too late, and it had grown too strong and powerful to stop. 

Liberation from Lies 

So they felt that Bonzo and I had liberated them from a form of slavery, and that they could hopefully return to living freely with nature, and in time grow out of an irrational fearfulness of some kind of vengeful god, instilled in them by somebody either deluded or power-hungry. 

They said they would still keep the temples now that they had been built, and use the good morals learnt from the monotheist, but they would no longer have to bow down to hypocritical, irrational and prejudiced propaganda.


Calling Kalbarri Barry Leads to Dolphinian Direction Detour

Shades of Grey 1: The Road to High Saffron

Image via Wikipedia

We headed off the next morning, and it wasn’t long before we reached my old namesake, Grey.  Travelling the Grey Road was a joy, and I felt glad to be Grey again.  Bonzo wasn’t as impressed.  They were giving away Shades of Grey at the roadside, so I picked up a copy.

Returning to Remembered Resting Holes

I kept a look out for Don and Sancho around Cervantes, but they were nowhere to be seen.  Probably still on the road somewhere I guess.

We travelled up the Indian Ocean road, which was a bit wet, before cooing pigeons told me we were passing Coorow Road again.

Kalbarri Calamity Averted

When we reached Kalbarri I called Barry the Bottlenose Dolphin.  He was out with a couple of his kids, and said it was wonderful greenygrey weather at the moment, but there was a storm heading towards the coast, so it’d be better if I headed inland.  He told me there was a friendly meerkat community in Meekatharra that would help us on our way.

An adult female bottlenose dolphin with her yo...

Image via Wikipedia


We could see the horizon looking quite grey, without any sign of green, which kind of reminded me of my situation. 

Although I half wanted to meet the grey storm, and see if I fitted in within it, the meerkat community sounded fascinating, so I took Barry’s advice and we headed inland.

Bonzo Scottie Joins up with Grey on the Highway to Lancelin

Australian cover

Image via Wikipedia


I said goodbye to my new friends in the morning, and headed up the highway.  I hadn’t gone far when I saw a ghostly dog apparition hitch-hiking on the side of the road.  

So I stopped, and asked if they were okay.  The ghostly dog introduced itself as Bonzo Scottie, and asked if this was the Highway to Hell.  I replied that I thought it must be lost, as this was the highway to Lancelin, which didn’t seem to have much resemblance to Hell from the photos I’d seen.  

Poor Bonzo seemed upset, like he had the downpayment blues, and said that he thought he’d been stripped of his soul, and thought he might find it in Hell, which isn’t supposed to be a bad place to be.  I said I thought Hell was a funny place to look for it, and that I didn’t think it was up ahead, but that he was quite welcome to ride on with me.  

Bonzo seemed to cheer up then, and we reached Lancelin in no time at all.  We got talking to a sea lion called Celia Ono there, and she said we should try the windsurfing, dune buggying and sandboarding that were very popular on the pristine beaches.  

We didn’t need much arm twisting, and had a great afternoon and evening enjoying the beach sports.  Celia had great balance, and I had to laugh when Bonzo exclaimed that the girl’s got rhythm.  

Rocking it at the Rock-It Festival in Perth, West Australia


Sancho and Don said they were off to the Rock-It festival in Perth, and invited me along, and I didn’t need a second invite. I felt like I needed a bit of fun after a tough time in Latham, and they seemed to be in the same situation having just escaped Cervantes. 

Rock-It Festival in Perth  

We had a bit of a tough time finding the Joondalup area where Rock-It is held, and had to do a bit of a loop around the neck of the Swan River. 

Black Swan on the Swan River, Perth Western Au...

Image via Wikipedia


However, once we were there it was great. It was a really relaxing and fun atmosphere, and really rocked. 

Airbourne played a storming opening set, Rose Tattoo played a great slide guitar fuelled bluesy show, and Bon Scott era AC/DC just ripped the place up with a headlining bad boy boogie act that just oozed rock n’ roll. 

Cover of "Let There Be Rock"

Cover of Let There Be Rock


Relaxing on Rotto: Rottnest Island 

We were rather hot and sweaty after the show, so we headed out to Rottnest Island, or Rotto as it is known locally. 

A stitched panorama of a rainbow over Thomson ...

Image via Wikipedia


There was certainly nothing rotten about it, and we enjoyed the beautiful beaches on the traffic free island. 

We were joined by some quirky quokkas: animals that are to kangaroos what greenygreys are to werewolves. They were lots of fun, and provided great company before we fell asleep under the rising sun.