Outback Travellers Meet a Passer-by Under the Literary Nonsense Sky

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A Toot and a Snore in '74, the 1992 bootleg album

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The fabulous five outback travellers
were sitting on the grass dividers
after eating their fill of bubble and squeak,
when a practitioner of literary nonsense did unto them speak.

‘I can tell you all you need to know
if you’ll just open your door
I promise not to induce a snore
my presentation is not a bore
It’s guaranteed to make you say cor!
and my jokes will raise a haw-haw
It has not once started a war
or been considered against the law
All the donkeys have exclaimed e-oh
and most dogs have clapped at least one paw
The coldest ice maidens it did thaw
and even beavers stopped their gnaw
Once I told it on the sea-shore
and the waves kept coming back for more
So what do you think my travelling four
are you ready for my rock n’ roar?’

The passer-by looked at us
after ending the recital syllabus.

‘I said I thought they were mistaken,
because there was no door,
and we were five,
not four.’

The passer-by looked all shocked and awe,
before declaring me a talking door.

‘No,’ said I,
‘I’ve just eaten too much
bubble and squeak,
my body has now widened
and my fur resembles teak.’

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