Andrew Wood looked down at us and then further down the cobbled criss-crossed streets, towards the approaching Grunginator. He motioned us behind the temple of the dog, before putting his right arm up in the air, and singing to the advancing robot: ‘Stop right there Captain Hi-Top, because this has gone on long enough, you ain’t been programmed right, and you need to tighten up your screws.’
The Grunginator stopped, and seemed to show emotion for the first time. A tear seemed to roll down from its lid, or was it percolator perspiration. It was hard to tell through the swirling mists encompassing the temple of the dog.
The Grunginator looked up at Wood, and said that it knew it was talking to a friend, as all the Seattle music heroes had been installed in its memory, but it was only doing what Frank Grungenstein and the others that had given it life wanted.
Wood looked down, and said ‘I can see your Heartshine, but they programmed you with biased and incomplete information, blaming Axl Rose for Kurt Cobain’s early death, and sending you back to the 1980s to eliminate him. Look at me, I never had no beef with Rose, but I still had a similarly self-inflicted short life.’
Terminator to Blade Runner
With that, the Grunginator seemed to calm down, and called for a time-out coffee break. It made a couple of cappuccinos for itself and Wood and they sat down on the temple of the dog steps.
The Grunginator looked into the eyes of Alice, before saying: “I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe: Faster Pussycat screeching on stage at the Rainbow Bar and Grill; I’ve watched Seasick Steve die in a dark shared with Love and Hate. A poison dart frog glowing in the Italian Job; Janis and Jimi running wild in the 1970s streets. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to fly.”*
And with that it released Alice’s chains, and Alice flew over the Sea of Sorrow to Nirvana.
*In Blade Runner, the replicant Roy Batty delivered the following soliloquy after saving the hero: “I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe: Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion; I’ve watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.”