Tag Archives: buns

Searching for Survivors after the Battle of Bri’s Bane

Border Collie

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I rose into a mix of joy and relief; sadness and loss. Many had given their lives on Greenslopes. I was relieved that Angry, Cathy and Elle quickly joined me, and to see they were all in good health. Aussie and Digger soon turned up as well, and were looking swell; Aus said it had only received a flesh wound. Then Vombat the Wombat pushed its way through the crowd, with a relieved look on its face. I could see Brian and Emily with the chinchilla survivors, but where were the Collie twins?

Searching for the Collie Twins

I asked the others if they’d seen the Collies. Digger said they’d been fighting heroically the last time it’d seen them, which was near the end of the battle. None of them had seen the Collies at the end of the battle. I started walking down the hill, looking through the bodies, dreading finding the Collies in a bad state.

A cascade of cheers rolled down from the top of the hill. I looked behind me and was filled with relief: the Collie twins were alive and well, and being carried along by a crowd of chinchillas. I rushed up the hill to them, and saw they were all eating buns.

I made my way through the munching mass, and asked the twins where they’d been. Ollie was too busy bun-munching above the bunch to hear; but Colin said that when the fighting finished they noticed a rich bun seam had been exposed by all the disruption, so they’d straightaway started bun-mining to feed the hungry survivors. Colin handed me a freshly mined rough-cut bun.

I laughed and thanked him, before biting into a bun that tasted just as delicious as those I’d eaten in Bunbury.

As I savoured the taste, and memories of Ozyssey evoked, I thought how Bunbury and Bri’s bane were on different sides of Oz, but would be quite close together in a dictionary. I thought there must be a lesson there somewhere, but was too busy bun-munching to brainwave.


Lassie Comes Home to Save the Day for the Fade to Grey


Collie and Ollie collies whispered amongst themselves, before saying that my story was a little suspicious. They had heard of the legendary Greenygreys, but one hadn’t been seen in these parts for many a century, and they had never heard of one dividing into Green and Grey. I was starting to feel a little nervous, but then the shetland sheepdog I’d seen leaving earlier came home and saved the day.

Lassie Saves the Day

It introduced itself as Lassie, and said it recognised me from I’m A Celebrity Werewolf…Get Me Out of Here, that it’d watched on Werewolf Cable. I then also realised it was the Lassie; the big Hollywood star.

It was great to meet a fellow celebrity out in the outback, and to be saved in a small way by a dog that’d saved so many in its films was like a dream come true, for one half of a werewolf that looked grey but was beginning to feel blue.

Lassie Shows Me Why Collie is Proud of its Colliering

Colin and Ollie relaxed once Lassie had saved the day, and welcomed me to Collie with wagging tails. I shapeshifted back, and slowly faded to Grey. Lassie showed me the way in, and I saw at once how proud Collie is of its colliering.

While many of their buns are exported to Bunbury, they also keep enough to keep Collie fed. So Lassie took me to some of the finest bunneries Collie has to offer, and we feasted on some beautiful buns. I think my favourite was the collar bone collie bun, which was the size and shape of a human collar bone.

In the evening we went to the Bunfields Museum, which showed how buns have been mined in Collie for centuries, and then went out to the Wellington National Park for a great forest and river walk. I was surprised to see it so green, and that of course reminded me of my other half: Green. I hoped it was still okay back home.

My Travel Plans Changed by Lassie

Lassie put me up that night, and also changed my plans. When it asked me where I was heading next I said Perth, but it suggested I pay a visit to the small town of Latham, which it said was quite interesting.

The name reminded me of our ol’ partner, Marc Latham, so I thought I should pay it a visit. It’s funny how your travel plans can change overnight isn’t it.

Swimming with Dolphins after Brunching on Buns Buried in Bunbury


I left Margaret Rivers in Margaret River at first light, refreshed after a great whale sound aided winks that must have added up to much more than forty: I would hazard a guess that my winks that night reached somewhere in the range of between seventy and eighty, and possibly even more than double the renowned forty.

Burning Rubber Roadrunner to Bunbury

It was a beautiful sunny morning and I felt like cruising down the highway with the wind in my hair. So I shapeshifted into a roadrunner and picked some speed up. However, this of course meant the wind was in my feathers, and I felt a bit of a turncoat against my old hero, Wile E. Coyote, for a while.

Nevertheless, it was a most enjoyable journey down the freeway, and I arrived in Bunbury in time for a bit of brunch. The name of the city made me bun hungry, and I looked for a bakery, after changing into a human; a roadrunner looking for food in the middle of a surprisingly large metropolis would look a little strange.

Buried Buns in the Bunbury Underground

However, a local called Rose Hotel told me that all the bakeries were underground on the edge of town, to keep the produce cool in the hot summers.

So I made my way out to the edge of town and lo and behold, found many underground bakeries with the most deliciously fresh and cool buns. The value of burying buns was clear to see and taste.

Dipping into the Dolphin Discovery Centre

I got talking to a dolphin called Dolly who swam up to the bakery (it had land, sea and air entrances) from Koombanna Bay. It said it was an idyllic spot, and invited me over after we’d finished bun munching.

So I shapeshifted into a dolphin after my last bit of bun fun, and had a wonderful evening swimming in the clear Koombanna waters with a hundred bottlenose dolphins.

Yes, it had been some day, fitting in roadrunning and dolphinswimming either side of biting through a baker’s dozen of Bunbury’s best buried buns.

As I lay on the ocean waves under a starry moonlit night in that twilight time between wakefulness and slumber I thought I heard a dog barking on the distant shore. It’s origins would soon become clear, and lead me on another amazing adventure.