Tag Archives: elle mcpherson

Solo Traveller Once Again, like when it all Began

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Tasman Sea

Image by thegaventas via Flickr

So my epic journey had really ended, and all was well. The Great Dame of Oz left to go on a world tour, so Angry, Elle and Cathy were going to stay in the mansion indefinitely. I’m sure they had bright Emerald futures ahead of them; now they had regained their body, mind and spirit confidence.

 

Once More unto the Sea

 

I knew I could return to the Greenygrey world now, but felt there was something else I needed to do. I thought I should visit the Tasman Sea one last time.

So I said cheerio to everybody and everything in Emerald. There were especially long farewells with my three long-term travel companions and my favourite Oz hat couple. Then it was time to go solo once more; returning to my status upon arrival in Oz.

 

I shapeshifted into a bird of paradise,
and set off once more for the seaside.

I flew with the wind to the east,
for an hour and a half at least,
arriving at the sea over
Deception Bay,
I thought there must be another way,
so I headed south and landed next to a jay,
in a place I liked the sound of: Bramble Bay.

I asked the jay, whose name was Jay,
whether it had seen anything untoward astray.
Jay said nothing unusual had happened all day.

 

Seeing a Sea Commotion

 

Everything did seem absolutely normal, and I began to wonder if I’d wasted my time making this diversion. But then:

I saw a commotion out at sea
and wondered what it might be.

 

The commotion was not only there; it was approaching the beach at a phenomenal speed. I asked Jay if it could see it. It said yes, it could.

I wondered what it could be: Was it more acid-rain? Could it be the MoMo East returning from the deep? Or was it Smiggin Holes escaped from its deep hole? Was there one more test I had to put my exhausted bird-brain through?

The commotion reached the shallows. I could now make out a head and arms. I thought I recognised who it was… but surely it couldn’t be… could it?

It continued swimming to the shallows, and then emerged onto the beach.

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For the Life of Brian

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Wombat

Image via Wikipedia

I looked around at my travel companions, and they all nodded in unison. I had not doubted them. I told Emily we would be proud to join her in the battle of Bri’s bane.

She thanked us, before inviting us to join the crowd in the cavern. She told me she thought I’d recognise a few faces.

Meeting Old Friends

There were indeed some familiar faces. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw Digger and Aussie, two of the first friends I made on the trip. After catching up with my old buddies I introduced them to Angry, Cathy and Elle; because I hadn’t even met them when I met ol’ Dig and Aus. It all seemed such a long time ago now, and strange to think that I had landed in Oz all alone.

I was just getting over the surprise of Dig and Aus when there was a tap on my shoulder. When I looked around it was yet another of my dear ol’ friends from early in the journey: the very venerable Vombatus Ursinus. It was great to see it looking swell. Vombat the Wombat joined our circle and soon got to know everybody and everything.

Mine’s a Large One

I was just about half way through telling Vombat about my journey when the walls started to rumble, and some rocks broke off. Everybody looked at the epicentre with anticipation, while beginning to take guard. I wondered if it was a bulldozing blitz by Bri’s bane.

A hole started to appear, and everybody tensed. As more rocks fell a paw emerged, and then the identity of the new arrivals was revealed. Why, it was none other than Colin and Ollie, the collie collier twins from Collie.

Spirit Lifts, Mind Plans, Body Gives Us Hope

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line art drawing

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I was getting sick of the sight of Boomerang Beach and Green Point by the twenty-ninth return journey, and told Cathy I was losing hope. She said, ‘That’s not the spirit.’ That was the lift I needed; mentally I might add, as I certainly didn’t need more physical lifting!

Angry Acts to our Advantage

After Cathy had raised my spirit, I wondered if Angry might have a solution to our situation, as he’d been using his mind well recently. So I asked him if he could think of any way out of our repetitive return rebounding.

He thought for a few minutes, before suggesting we’d been playing into the boomerang’s hands; or wings to be more precise.

As we listened attentively through the whistling wind, Angry explained his rationale: it was because the four of us had been keeping to a straight two-two formation, and this kept the boomerang on its intended trajectory.

Come Elle or Eye Water

Angry suggested that Elle might be the key to changing our course, as she’d been using her body well recently. If she pulled in one direction, and we kept an eye on her, whether they were watery or not, then we could all lean over to one side, and that would hopefully release us from our eternal boomeranging.

You know what, it didn’t sound nonsense at all, and I had high hopes that it would ground us. We agreed to attempt it on our next journey north.

Smiggin Holes Reveals its Secrets

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Green Swap - What I sent

I asked for my emerald cork hat back off the creature, and it seemed to be handing it over to me, but then it grabbed it back, saying, ‘no, no, it’s mines, mines, it’s Smiggin’s hat.’

Magic of the Emerald Cork Hat

I tugged at the hat, but couldn’t break it free from Smiggin’s grip.  While we were grappling over the hat, heaps of other green objects fell from its person; I don’t know where they all came from.

I lost my concentration, and the next thing I was falling.  I landed a few feet down in a hole that had just opened up below me.

Elle helped me out of the hole, using her body to great effect, and I looked at Smiggin; I guessed that was what its name was.  It cackled and smirked.

The Case of Smiggin Holes is Solved

I asked if it had anything to do with the hole, and I didn’t want to hear any literary nonsense from it.

Angry said that the ability to create holes would explain the second part of the name, Smiggin Holes.

It all made sense now.  I congratulated Angry on good use of his mind.

Ozzy Osbourne’s Blizzard of Ozz outside Whiskey a Go-Go

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Star for Ozzy Osbourne on the Birmingham Walk ...

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As we left the Whiskey a Go-Go I saw a bat-like cloaked figure lurking in the shadows, which made me a little suspicious.  The next thing it was barking at the moon, and I became more than a tad worried.  Was this some kind of lone-human werewolf?

Ozzy Osbourne’s Blizzard of Ozz

A minute later a blizzard blew up out of nowhere, and the shadowy figure shouted that Oz was no place for a dog, and he was going to take it to Ozz, which had much more room through the extension of an extra z.

I then realised it was the 1980s Ozzy Osbourne, and with his reputation at that time for biting the heads off creatures I thought Angry’s dog might be in great peril.

Elle Uses Her Body to Great Effect

My concern seemed to be justified the next moment, when Ozzy sprang out of the shadows singing Steal Away (The Night).  Angry was still buzzing from his performance and seemed to be unaware of Ozzy’s presence.

Ozzy looked certain to reach Angry’s dog and snatch it away to a chilly life in  Blizzardy Ozz when Elle stuck out her leg and tripped up the Mr. Crowley singer.

A Crazy Train was passing through town on the way to the 1990s, and seeing her chance, Elle picked up Ozzy and threw him onto the train.

Ozzy sang back a love song.  I wasn’t sure if it was to Elle or the dog.

Anyway, Angry had seen the latter stages of the bizarre incident, and sang back at Ozzy that he could wave Goodbye to Romance.

Ozzy started waving, but at the same time sang that he would shed No More Tears.

Body, Mind and Spirit.. and Bonz Think Melbourne

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Bubble and squeak with sauteed chestnut mushrooms

Image by WordRidden via Flickr

Tension
is no fun
when bubble
and squeak
is on the line.

The Mind

We thought how Gillian Taylforth might be connected to Mel Gibson, but couldn’t think of any obvious codes or similarities, and then Angry suggested that the city might not really be called Gillian Taylforth.

The Spirit

I remembered then that I had indeed renamed it before we arrived, but couldn’t for the sake of me remember any other name for it.  I felt dejected, but then Cathy gave a pep talk to raise our spirits.

The Body

Then Elle said she’d rush back into the city to find out the name.  So she sprinted back to the edge, and when she returned said it was really called Melbourne.  It had been a good use of her body.

The Bonz

It was great team work; utilising body, mind and spirit in the nick of minute.

But it confused the second question, because Melbourne sounded like it could well have been named after the birth of Mel Gibson.

I put this to the team, hoping Angry would continue his good mind form, when  Bonzo piped up: ‘Oh, Melbourne, that’s easy, I grew up here.  No, it wasn’t named after Mel Gibson, it was after that pommie guy, William Lamb – 2nd Viscount Melbourne.  Mel Gibson was in fact born in New York.’

We all looked at Bonzo in amazement, before giving him a big hug.

The Tucker

We gave the answers to Holly Valance, and she said:

‘You had your chance
and now you can hanch
on my best and scrumptious
bubble and squeak.’

We tucked in.

Bonzo Banishes Bagpipes Bafflement

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The Ashes Urn

Image via Wikipedia

Walk this way
Kingscote sway
me and Angry
rhythmically
down the beach
until out of reach
of the neighbours
and hard labours.

Elle saw us coming and rushed off the beach to meet us.  She said she’d been worried about me and was glad to see me back in one piece.

I replied that I was already only one half, remembering my green other ‘arf, but I was indeed still in one half piece.

Elle chuckled and said, ‘Well, if you’re going to be pedantic, it’s good to see all your grey self again.  I would love to meet your green other ‘arf one day, and you all together as one greenygrey, but I’ve only known you as Grey.’

‘Thank you kind Elle’, I replied, ‘I should have been more understanding, and especially at this joyous moment, and I do dearly wish that one day you will meet me as one half of the complete Greenygrey.’

Then one of the little penguins recognised Bonzo’s travel companions and let him know.  Bonzo quickly lay down the bagpipes and sprinted over, looking very excited.

I introduced Angry to the others once everything had settled down, and asked how things had been going here.

They said everything had been wonderful, and they’d been shown great hospitality by King Scote and all the others.

I asked Bonzo what all the noise was about, and he said that the little penguins had enjoyed playing the new sport of AusRuIcket he’d taught them that they’d presented them to him.  They’d also burnt another set, and would play a tournament for them every year called the ARIshes.

I asked where the penguins had got the bagpipes from, and Bonzo said that it was like me: a bit of a grey area that went back a long time.

But little penguin legend said that they were brought over by a Rockhopper a long time ago.  They also provided the Bonz with a video to practise with:

Thanks to Big Robbo at MamasFallenAngels for inspiring the idea to put this video here, after he put it up on the site just after I’d done the last blog with Bonzo first playing the bagpipes.

Second-half of the game is not the same…or lame

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centre

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The second-half kicked off and we launched a quick attack on the wing down the wing.  Russell Crow crossed it in, Sheryl Crow knocked it down, and I slotted it in.  It was the dream start, and we were back on track.  There was no time to crow about it though, we had a game to win.

Twenty minutes later Bob Crow pulled another one back with a short snap strike, and the Redbacks were redfaced as well as redbacks.

Crows were back in the game, but it’s a funny old name

But just as everything looked hunky dory
Ted Hughes Crow had to go off with poetry
Jim Crow divided the team like a tidal wave
Brandon Lee Crow tragically sent to early grave
and Charlie Crow had to fly off to trade.

Elle and Bonzo are the Ace and Joker in the Pack

We were now two players short, so I had a word with Bob, and he called a time-out.  I rushed over to Elle and Bonzo, who were already on the edge of their seats.

I quickly taught them the skills of shapeshifting, and they got the hang of it in no time.  Elle Crow and Bonzo Crow joined the fray without delay.

Bonzo made its presence known in no time, with some crunching tackles in the middle of the park.  It was from one of those that it won the ball, and then dribbled it half the pitch before slotting it in past the redback goalie, Redglove.

A Thrilling Finish to the Game

It was 3-3 with ten minutes remaining.  Our timewager didn’t include extra-time, so it was vital we got a winner before the end of the match.

But it was the redbacks that attacked straight from the kick-off, and they quickly spun a web of trickery that saw the ball reach our penalty area as if it was stuck to their feet.

However, our goalie, Crow Nation, flew up to the top corner and not only saved the shot but also gathered it in its wing.  It quickly punted the ball down the field and Elle ran on to it and sent it flying over the stranded Redglove to put us into the lead.

There was hardly time to restart the game, and it was a crow victory by four goals to three; thanks in no small part to us three I must say, thankfully.