Tag Archives: parody

Sir Les Patterson and Dame Edna Everage are Wizard

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Dame Edna Everage

Image by James Cridland via Flickr

After it settled down in Emerald I asked Emily if she remembered what MiMo Moby said back in Meekatharra many moons ago; about a Great Dame of Oz at the end of the dust sandy path who could reunite me with Green once again.

Emily said she did remember, and knew exactly what MiMo had meant; she would take us to meet the Dame straight away.

Sir Les Patterson

It wasn’t far away; just a couple of blocks to a big mansion in the centre of Emerald. Emily knocked on the door with one of her corks. It wasn’t long before a large grumpy man answered it.

He bellowed, ‘What do you want?’ at us in a rude manner.

‘Ah, hello,’ said Emily, ‘MiMo Moby told this werewolf friend of mine that the Great Dame of Oz should be able to help it. Is she here?’

The man did not seem impressed, but said he’d see if she was around.

The Great Dame of Oz

A woman arrived a few minutes later; she looked like she could be the sister of the man… or even the same person!

‘Hello possums,’ she said, ‘what can I do for you?’

I told her about my conversation with MiMo Moby, and said we were all still quite lost, despite learning a lot on our epic Ozyssey.

She said she’d love to help, and used to do such things, but she was too busy now that she’d become an international giga-star.

Body, Mind and Spirit Work Together Again

I looked at my travel companions; they seemed to share my disappointment. I wondered if my epic ramble had reached an anti-climactic dead-end, and I would never see Green and the Greenygrey world again.

I was about to suggest leaving, when Cathy spoke up in a spirited way, telling the Dame that that was no way to talk to us. Angry seemed to have been thinking about it as well, because he soon added, ‘You’re not even really the Dame, you were a rude man when you answered the door just now.’ Then Elle used her body to great effect by slamming the door shut.

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Notes

Sir Les Patterson and Dame Edna Everage are Barry Humphries’s comedy characters.

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Following the Dust Sandy Road to Emerald

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Cover of the Emerald City of Oz

Image via Wikipedia

There was a succulent start to the journey, orienteering through an okay oak forest outside Oakey before devouring a delicious dal dinner in Dalby.

Chinchilla is a Killer… Emotionally

It was Chinchilla next, and I prepared myself for an emotional return. I was not disappointed, with chinchillas lining the streets of Chinchilla as we passed. I saw an old chinchilla rush out of the crowd and hug a COG member. When the COG soldier turned around I was delighted to see the name Cilla Chinchilla on her jacket.

Cilla had survived
and achieved her task.
Now I hoped
she’d have time to bask.

Roma, Orion and Spring

We roamed through Roma, before it turned dark over Orion; which was good timing, as there was a belting night sky there. Then it seemed like it was spring for sure in Springsure, as everything was green. It became evermore evergreen as we neared Emerald.

I asked Emily how everything was so green, and she said these were the Alician Fields. They are a natural wonderland for those who have turned the world upside down to improve it before returning it the right way up; where sparkling spring water irrigates the earth from underground, and the sun always shines above.

I thought nothing could equal the Alician Fields, but Emerald sparkled like the finest precious stone; the town and fields complemented each other like a jewel on silk.

Hats filled the air when Brian and Emily reached Emerald, and our leaders soon joined in with the hatrobatics.

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Notes

The Elysian Fields of Greek mythology were a heavenly paradise for heroic warriors.

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Churchilla’s Chinchilla Commandos of Goya

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Originally from Wikipedia as Chinchilla.JPG wi...

Image via Wikipedia

It was great to reacquaint with the Collie twins. Everybody was enjoying the moment, although we knew that a bruising battle lay ahead with Bri’s bane. We partied through the night, with a band of Beatles  starring in the Cavern, and then set off north the next morning.

Liaising with the Chinchilla Chinchillas

Emily and Brian led us through the secret cave for ten hours, until we at last reached the safe haven of Chinchilla. The Chinchilla chinchillas were also locked in a perennial struggle with Bri’s bane, and so we were warmly welcomed.

Emily and Brian introduced us all to the chinchilla leader, Pancho Churchilla, and he thanked us for our effort and support. When evening arrived, we all ascended into the fresh air, and basked in the Chinchilla sunset chinchilla style.

Chinchillas of Goya

We rested overnight underground in the burrow barracks of the Chinchillas of Goya (COG); a crack unit of chinchilla commandos that are the teeth of the chinchilla army sprocket.

They gave us their nests and slept on the floor, as their training had hardened them to such inconvenience. I didn’t like to take the nest, but we had been on a long hard journey; as long as the COG could maintain rotation without such self-maintenance.

Born to Bask

Someone had scrawled a message on the rock next to my nest that haunted my sleep that night. It said: Born to Bask, Live for Task.

It was signed CC, so I guess it must have been Cilla Chinchilla who wrote it; Pancho said she was the one who normally slept there. I thought it was a shame such a chilled chinchilla should have to live this way, and dreamt that one day soon the chinchillas would be able to once more bask in peace.

We were awoken at first light. After a short preparation we started on our final march to Bri’s bane. Nerves, excitement and fear all mixed together to activate anarchic adrenalin.


Capricho nº 50: Los Chinchillas de Goya, serie...

Image via Wikipedia

Hat-trick to Hole in Smiggin Holes

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Hat-trick to Hole in Smiggin Holes
An Emerald Tree Boa, Corallus caninus

Image via Wikipedia

I could see no way of regaining my hat, and mentioned this to Cathy.  She said that’s not the spirit, before going into a deep trance.

Snake Scares Smiggin Senseless

A minute later, I couldn’t believe my eyes, but luckily Smiggin did.  Because the emerald hat suddenly turned into a snake, and Smiggin quickly threw it into the air.

It flew a few feet, opening up into a full ten foot length, before coiling back and once again becoming the emerald cork hat I’d grown to know and love.  I dived to regain it, and  grabbed it barely a foot off the ground.

Smiggin Creates another Hole

I saw some leaves and muddy earth below me, and was looking forward to a soft landing, but then the ground opened up.

I heard a cackle, and looked over at Smiggin, who had regained its composure.  By the look on its face, smirking Smiggin had obviously used its ghastly powers to open up another hole below where I was about to land.

The holiculturist had done itself proud with this one, and it was much deeper than the last.  I faced falling into a hole from which I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to  emerge.

The Great Gig in the Sky Above Uluru / Ayer’s Rock

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A Kangaroo Crossing in Eastern Australia.

Image via Wikipedia

‘I just came round to see if anybody fancied coming to the Oo-loo-roo Rocks Solstice festival this weekend.  There’s lots of great macropod bands on, and others too.  The way you’re singing it sounds like you could play there yourselves!’

‘Thanks Wally’ Alice laughed, ‘Yeh, cobber, it sounds fair dinkum bonzer me ol’ bushie.’

So after we finished drinking our spring water we set off for the Oo-loo- Rocks festival.  We were still springing, while Wally skipped.  Apparently they used to hop, until Skippy got them all skipping in the 1960s.

After an hour I asked Alice if she knew where the festival was, and she said it was held on several stages in the air.

Half an hour later I saw a great sight in front of me, and thought that it must be air’s or Oo-loo-roo rock.

There were several venues up in the air, each like great roockets the size of a desert view.

We met a few of Wally’s friends at the entrance, which was a portal below the centre of the air used for the festival.

Once we were up in the air at the festival we could just settle back and enjoy the view and tunes.  Bonzo Scottie  really enjoyed himself there, and looked the happiest I’d seen him; looking like a butcher’s dog!

I enjoyed quite a few bands, including the Roomones, Atomic Rooster and Roosh

Atomic Rooster had a song called Head in the Sky which really suited the setting, while Roosh’s music also fitted the venue, with songs like Fly By Night going down well.

The Roomones were pretty mad.  All the members are called Joey Roomone: the singer is tribover Joey, guitarist is smokin’ Joey, bassist is guesta Joey and the drummer is pesci Joey.

Probably my favourite band were the headliners: Injured Wildlife.  They are really popular in the area, with signs up everywhere.  They were all dressed in black, and had the stage positioned so it was all lit up bright yellow by the setting solstice sun.  It was the perfect setting for the band. 

They had really socially conscious lyrics in songs like Cousin Koala Curling Up Eucalyptus and When Did You Last See a Waltzing Wallaby.  All the crowd had a roousing singalong, as they knew the songs off by heart, and it was a fitting end to the great gig in the sky rookets.